A Quick One.

Here is a quick screenplay I scrawled out after class yesterday, I'm not quite sure what to do with it, so I figured I may as well put it up in the public forum for peopel to do with it what they will. It's kind of long, but give it a read anyway, you might appreciate it.

-"The" Nick

A QUICK ONE.


The screen is black, the scene fades in and we are near the ocean on a bright mid-summer day.

EXT. BEACH-MIDAFTERNOON
We are at a non-descript beach, there are people around, waves crash onto the shore, young kids run around half naked and high school meatheads toss a football to each other blissfully. Sitting in front of us on towels are PAUL COOPER, PETE L'HEUREUX, JACK WEINER, NICKNAME, CATIE, RYAN O'BRIEN, KELLY RODRIGUES, and LISA MEYER. There is an open cooler in the middle of them filled with beer, sandwiches, assorted fruits, and ice. The men are shirtless and in swimsuits and the women are in their bikinis. The group of eight are sitting in a circle around the cooler, KELLY and LISA are lying on their stomachs sunning their back, CATIE is making a sandwich and concerning herself with the open fashion magazine in front of her. PAUL is writing in what appears to be a notebook , NICKNAME is sitting with his arms crossed over his man-boobs and staring out into the ocean. RYAN O'BRIEN is sipping a beer and fiddling with seashells as he lays next to LISA. PETE is smoking a cigarette and kneading sand through his toes as JACK sits next to him. They are watching the meatheads throw the football around down near the water, one meathead calls the other a "fag" when he drops a pass.

PETE
You know, I never understood why everything that sucks is called gay.

JACK
What do you mean?

PETE
Like, look at those shit-heads down there. The blonde one dropped the ball and the 'roided out one called him a fag. How is dropping a pass even remotely homosexual?

JACK
I don't know, you'd think someone would be gay for catching balls.

PETE
Seriously though, like Mike Piazza--clearly gay--he was a catcher. Like, maybe if that blonde guy was wearing a shirt that said "I Love Penis." Then Hulk over there would have some grounds to say, "Hey dude, that shirt is gay." But, apparently having a poor aptitude for "sporting" immediately means you're gay.

JACK
Know what? You're right, I'd never really thought about that. The other day I told my buddy from work that I had to do the graveyard shift and he said, "Aw dude, that's so gay, that sucks."

PETE
Exactly! Why is that gay? It doesn't make sense.
We see a twenty-something year old girl with a tight body walk by in front of the meatheads.

JACK
Know what's not gay? That girl's ass.

PETE
You suck.

We switch over to PAUL who is writing intently in his notebook, NICKNAME taps him on the shoulder to get his attention. He turns around to look at NICKNAME who again crosses his arms over his man-boobs.

NICKNAME
Paul, what're you writing?

PAUL
Why are you holding your tits?

NICKNAME
I'm not!

PAUL
[interrupting]You look like that Janet Jackson picture from Rolling Stone.

NICKNAME starts to uncomfortably shift and tries retorting to PAUL, but PAUL gets distracted by KELLY who slaps him on the leg hard.

PAUL
[angry]What the fuck?

KELLY
Stop being an asshole.

PAUL
I'm not.

KELLY
Stop.

PAUL
How was I an asshole?

KELLY & CATIE
Stop.

PAUL
[under his breath]Jeez, fucking Nazis over here.

We see RYAN O'BRIEN who is laying down, propped up on one arm. He takes a handful of sand and pours it on LISA's back.

LISA
What are you doing?

RYAN
Not pouring sand on your back.[as he picks up another handful of sand and pours it on LISA's back]

LISA
You make no sense.

RYAN
Don't worry about it, I have my reasons.

LISA
Oh yeah, like what?

RYAN
Like reasons.

As RYAN says this, we see the football fly over to the group and smash NICKNAME in the nose. He cries out loudly and stands up as blood pours from it, KELLY and LISA move out of the way of the blood. Some of it falls onto PAUL's notebook as he rolls out of the way of the splatter. CATIE picks up and tries to throw it to NICKNAME so he can stop the bleeding but accidentally hits JACK in the head hard with it.

JACK
What the fuck?

CATIE
Sorry, give it to him. [referring to NICKNAME]

JACK
Couldn't you have just handed it to him?

CATIE
Give him the damn towel Jack.

JACK throws the towel at NICKNAME who puts it up to his nose and sits down, the girls come over to help him RYAN and JACK are getting some ice and packing it into the towel for NICKNAME as PETE and PAUL stand next to each other trying to assess what just happened.

PETE
Wow.

PAUL
Yeah, what a catch.

PETE
You think his nose is broken?

PAUL
Eh..--[he sees the football on the ground in front of him and picks it up] [referring to the meatheads, trying to get their attention]HEY ASSHOLES!!

PAUL cocks back and throws the football far into the opposite direction of the meatheads, presumably into the parking lot.

PAUL
[to the meatheads]NEXT TIME SAY HEADS UP!! Fucking dickheads. You alright SHORTSHIT?

NICKNAME
[grumbles incoherently through towels and ice]

PETE
Is his nose broken?

KELLY
No, he's fine, just a little blood.

LISA
A little blood?

KELLY
Fine, a lot of blood.

RYAN
Yo Paul, you got some blood on you.

We see PAUL's arm and NICKNAME's blood is all down the side of it. He reaches down to grab his towel to wipe it off and spots his notebook.

PAUL
Fuck, he got blood on my notebook too.

CATIE
As if it's his fault?

PAUL
Well it wasn't my fault.

CATIE
And it wasn't his.

PAUL
[sarcastically]Fine, it was those motherfucker's fault for sucking at throwing and hitting him in the face, transitively causing his face blood to end up on my notebook pages.

JACK
What the hell are you writing in there anyway? You've had your face in it all day.

PAUL
It's just some ideas I've had recently.

KELLY
About what?

PAUL
[apprehensive]Different things...

RYAN
Like?

PAUL
[downplaying]Just stupid shit I've been thinking about, no big deal.

PETE snatches the notebook out of PAUL's hand and starts to read the title of what PAUL has been writing.

PETE
[reading off PAUL's notebook]The Roots of Society's Discontent as Explained Through The Phenomena of Collective Individuality...

JACK
What the fuck?

PETE
[sarcastically]Sounds like some easy leisurely writing.

RYAN
[to PAUL]Society's Discontent...wha?--you sure you're alright Paul?

PAUL
Yeah, I'm fine.

CATIE
What is it about?

LISA
Yeah, are you like trying to explain why everyone is so mad all the time?

Said at the same time:

JACK
Because they don't have enough sex.
PETE
Because they don't smoke enough weed.
RYAN
Because people suck.

PAUL looks at the two of them, thinks about what they said and turns back to LISA.

PAUL
[ignoring what the other guys said]Sort of, I guess. Do you really want me to explain it? It's kind of heavy for like beach-time n' shit.

RYAN
[sarcastically]Please do oh wise one.

JACK
Nah, for real, I'm curious about this shit.

PETE
Yeah, go on.

The girls all agree that PAUL should go on, NICKNAME grumbles something which we cannot understand because his face is obstructed by the towel and ice.

PAUL
Alright then, I'll give it a try. Know how I always talk about the individual and how important it is to be unique, like to embrace what and who you are?

Everyone gives a round of nods telling PAUL to continue.

PAUL
Ok, well imagine this...
The screen starts to shake as if fading into an imagination sequence and we see a random person walking down a non-descript street. As PAUL is narrating, what we see will conform to what he says.

PAUL
...Imagine you're walking down the street and you're wearing these shoes, these like really awesome shoes that you worked hard to pay for and a random person comes up to you and says, "Know what, you're a fucking bastard." and you're like, "Why am I a fucking bastard?" and he's like, "Because of your shoes." Immediately, you're going to wonder what about your shoes says you're a bastard, right?
We come back from the imagination sequence and everyone nods their head, agreeing with what PAUL is saying.

PAUL
Wrong. The first thing you're going to wonder is, "Who the fuck is this asshole and why is he hating on my shoes?" You immediately resent what you don't understand.

KELLY
That's not true, I think that'd be a perfectly normal reaction.

LISA
Yeah, isn't he the resentful one?

PAUL
You didn't let me finish. What I was trying to say is that resentment breeds resentment. The reason he came up to you about your shoes is because he resents the fact that you can buy those sweet shoes and he can't, so immediately he assumes you are, like I said, a "fucking bastard."

RYAN
Oh, so our reaction is sort of a resentment of his initial resentment.

PETE
Yeah, kind of like the two wrongs don't make a right idea. Hate breeds hate, pain breeds pain, etc.

PAUL
Exactly.

NICKNAME
[grumbles incoherently, seems to be asking a question]

PAUL
I don't know what you said.

JACK
You sound like the grown-ups from Charlie Brown.

RYAN
So by that token, would you say that resentment is the root of society's "discontent" as you put it?

CATIE
No, that can't be the case, what about death, that's sad. Or poverty, aren't those reasons for unhappiness?

PAUL
Yeah. Death is a different kind of unhappiness though. But I guess poverty sort of subscribes to this idea. Imagine you're a homeless person and you see a guy wearing an Armani suit with a Rolex and he's carrying a bag of you know, like gold bars or something. He walks right by you and doesn't even acknowledge that you're sitting there helplessly covered in filth. How will you feel about that guy? I'm willing to guess you'll resent his greediness. You're not going to say to yourself, "Oh boy, I need to work hard so I can be like him!" You'll hate the fact that he's privileged and that you aren't. He's a part of the Have's and you are a Have-Not. It's just a simple part of life that some must fail and others must succeed, right?
We come back from the imagination sequence and see everyone nodding their heads in agreement with this assertion.

PAUL
Wrong again. No one is doomed to live a life of poverty and no one is destined to be the picture of excessive wealth. The problem lies within society's perceptions of happiness and the nature of our capitalistic system of economy.

RYAN
Yeah, I get that, but we can't be communists, communism doesn't work. Look at Russia or Vietnam.

JACK
Yeah dude, I don't want to live in Russia. They're scary.

PAUL
I'm not saying to be communist here though, I agree that Capitalism works the best, history proves that, but I am not willing to say that Capitalism is the best option. The best option may lie in something we haven't found yet, a way of life where we can have the incentive to work as a collective in order to support the individual and the individual's goals.

CATIE
So should people be assigned roles from birth?

PETE
Like Demolition Man? That couldn't happen, that would eliminate the individuality that the collective is trying to preserve.

PAUL
Right. What I'm saying is a system needs to be devised where people will be willing to sacrifice some of their own personal gain in order to create a collective society which can work as a whole to achieve greatness and once we reach that greatness, all of these personal goals, selfish wants, and individualistic passions will no longer benefit just the singular and will be easier and more socially acceptable to achieve.

JACK
So because we would have a society that celebrates the individual by creating an unselfish support system, our personal dreams would be more beneficial to everyone?

PAUL
Yeah, and those dreams could be realized, all of society would be willing to help because they know that whatever you achieve can only benefit the whole.

LISA
That could never happen though.

RYAN
Yeah dude, that's like a utopia, Brave New World? 1984? You know that shit can't happen.

PAUL
Yes it can...

PETE
[interrupting]But only if we were to abolish resentment.

PAUL
Right.

Everyone looks around at each other, they seem to agree with what PAUL is saying but are looking for some further explanation.

PAUL
This discontent stems from discomfort, and that discomfort is created by society and their focus on capitalistic ideals in every facet of life. It's like at school, we all know those kids who stay up all night long and pop smart pills like Adderall or Ritalin when they need to study for a test. Because if they don't get that A, then they are no longer legitimate. They define themselves by their grades.

CATIE
And like those jerks who hit The Little Guy in the face here with the football. If they didn't have their weight rooms and football fields, what would they be?

RYAN
[to PAUL]Are you saying that competition is bad though? You're an athlete, you're like the most competitive motherfucker I know.

CATIE
Yeah, you like to make bets about reeeeeeeeaaaaalllllly stupid shit too. Asshole.

PAUL
[to CATIE]Hey, that's in the past. [to RYAN]Am I saying to abolish competition? No. I'm saying to change the motivation behind it. If someone beats me, instead of saying, "I hate him for beating me." say, "He's damn good at this, let me put some more effort in to achieve that same level of skill." It's a matter of using competition to motivate instead of bringing the other person down.

LISA
Like that whole Tonya Harding thing?

JACK
The crazy bitch with the lead pipe?

LISA
Yeah.

PAUL
Yeah, sort of like that. If the motivation behind the competition wasn't resentment, then that other skater there, what's her name?

NICKNAME
[grumbles incoherently offering up the answer, no one understands it]

PAUL
Yeah, that one. She wouldn't have caught a pipe to the ankle or whatever it was that happened.

RYAN
So you're saying that the current system we have, the one that celebrates capitalistic ideals: essentially every man for himself, is cause for the condemning of the individual?

PAUL
Yes.

Said at the same time:

LISA
But that makes no sense cuz...
RYAN
But that makes no sense cuz...
Said at the same time:
LISA
Sorry.
RYAN
Sorry.

RYAN
It's ok, you go.

LISA
Ok. That makes no sense, because how can a system which promotes individualistic goals remove the individual from society?

RYAN
That's what I was going to say.

PETE
How cute.

PAUL
Because the method which we take to achieve those goals leaves us as empty shells, organic machines functioning solely to one-up each other, losing the beauty of human interaction, ignoring the complex and intricate methods by which we maintain who we are. We resort to copycatting and taking the easy way out in order to beat the other guy. By focusing so greatly on our selfish motivations, we in turn become our goals and lose what makes us so distinctly special, our humanity.

KELLY
And how do you propose we cope with this discontent?

PAUL
I have no idea.

PETE
That's why we drink and do drugs and have sex. That's why certain guys decide to throw trashcans down hallways when they've had a couple thirteen too many. That's why people shot dope into their arms when their Daddy leaves them. We don't know how to cope.

JACK
That might be the most depressing thing I've ever heard.

PAUL
Maybe on the surface it seems depressing, but think about it, by acknowledging the existence of these deep-rooted human flaws and admitting that we can become victims of the own societal system we created aren't we in a sense liberating ourselves?

RYAN
We're like the Luke Skywalkers of Generation Y.

LISA
What does that mean?

RYAN
Episode IV, A New Hope?

LISA
Never seen it.

RYAN
What?!

JACK
I'd rather be Han Solo. [referring to NICKNAME] Beef Tits can be Chewy.

NICKNAME
[mumbles incoherently, aggravated by the comment]

PAUL
[to NICKNAME]Are you still fucking bleeding? Thats amazing.

RYAN
So wait, Pete, are you saying that we drink and get stoned only to cope?

PETE
Oh, no no. I'm saying that they become excuses for us, something else to blame or resort to when we are too afraid or too ignorant to look inward. I on the other hand smoke weed because I fucking dig it.

PAUL
And I drink beer because it's delicious. But to some, it's a scapegoat, a quick fix to a never-ending existential problem. Can we fix this problem? Yes. How? By sacrificing some of yourself in order to achieve a collective, in turn gaining more of yourself back than you originally gave up.

CATIE
So, it's like an investment?

JACK
Yeah, think like make-up, as if you bought a really nice blush that...

LISA
[interrupting JACK] We aren't retarded Jack.

KELLY
Yeah, you don't need to explain existential crises in terms of eye shadow, we get it.

JACK
[under his breath]Alright, jeez, nazis.

PAUL
Anyway, that's it really.

CATIE
Are these the things you think about?

PAUL
Yeah. I'm doomed to it.

PETE
We are doomed to it.

RYAN & JACK
Truth.

LISA
So what do we do about this? It seems like such a large scale to address.

KELLY
How are we supposed to change it? No one can ever reach every person in the world, no matter how loud of a mouth they have.

PAUL reaches into the cooler and pulls out eight beers, he opens the tops of each one of them with a bottle opener and hands them out to his friends. He raises the bottle in the air to propose a toast.

RYAN
[referring to the toast]To what?

PAUL
To life.

They all take a sip and look around, there is a feeling of anticipation, no one is sure what to do next, such a deep conversation was not anticipated and everyone feels a motivation to make some kind of change. There is an awkward moment of uncomfortable silence.

CATIE
So what's next?

No one has an immediate answer, PAUL is in the middle of finishing his beer as this is asked. He swallows deeply and tosses the empty bottle onto his towel.

PAUL
What's next? We get drunk and fight the waves.

Everyone raises their bottles and takes deep sips, we start to pull away upward as we see the eight bodies run downward into the water, NICKNAME throwing the towel down and diving in last. The screen goes black. White words come across the middle of the screen, "The End."